Late Night Admissions
by Dewey Decimatrix 822
Summary: A phone call wakes Robin from his bed late at night. On the other end is Raven, looking to get something off her chest.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello all! It's been a while, but I'm excited to say that I've had some luck with writing recently, some of it is straight fiction, some of it is fanfiction. This is something I've had bouncing around for a few months and finally managed to finish it. I hope you all like it._

He had always loved the way his name sounded on her lips. He had not heard her voice in months, but now that he did, it took his breath away. Her light breath and lilting voice touched his ears with a hint of trepidation. He looked behind him, checking that the beautiful red head in his bed still slept. Her chest rose and fell steadily in sleep, innocence plain on her resting face.

He stood up as quietly as he could, trying not to move the bed as he left the room. He sat at the kitchen table and took a deep breath in before he placed the phone back against his ear. She was still there; he could still hear her soft breathing on the other end of the line. "Raven," he said softly into the phone. He heard her breath hitch. "Raven, what is it? Is everything ok?"

She hadn't contacted him in months, not since… he paused his thoughts there, he couldn't be sure that was why she hadn't wanted to talk to him. Maybe she had been busy, her own life filled with crime fighting as it was, and saving the world on the side. "Yes," she replied quietly. "Everything is fine. I just…" He could hear the hesitation, as though she was willing herself to continue. "It's been a while."

He nodded dumbly on his end of the phone before realizing, obviously, that she could not hear him nod through the phone. "It has…" He ran a hand though his already messy hair, letting it spike in all different directions. It had never been so awkward between them before. They shared a special bond, he had saved her and she had saved him. Why was it so hard to keep this conversation going? What was happening to them? Did she know what he had never told her? "It's two in the morning, Rae. What's going on?" He had never stopped thinking about her, even when she thought he did. His eyes drifted to Kori, but he immediately looked away.

She took a deep breath, which had him holding the phone pressed hard to his ear, waiting to hear what she was going to say. "I-I," she stuttered. The way she paused, he knew she was chewing her lip. He knew all her nervous ticks, every small detail. She let out a breath that he knew she had been holding. "I never told you something I should have. And now it's too late," she finally said. Her tone wasn't rushed, but he could still hear her worry in every syllable. It sounded almost like she was scared to talk to him.

He looked over his shoulder, making sure that he was still alone. "What should you have told me? You know you can tell me anything," he replied. He almost regretted the words. He could feel the tension over the line, and the thought that what she might tell him would ruin this tenuous position he was in made him nervous.

"Richard, I-" Her voice dropped off for a moment. His breath hitched again. Even when she had first spoke, she had called him Robin not Richard. He couldn't remember the last time his real name had graced her lips, but he wished he could see her, be there with her as they spoke. See the way her pale skin reddened whenever she was embarrassed or the way she chewed her lip when she didn't know how to respond to something. He wanted to hold her, remind her that she was his best friend and that he cared deeply for her. He wanted all that and more, so much more. More than he should. He wanted to touch her, to feel her silky skin beneath his fingertips. He desired to kiss her soft lips, feel her against him, and never let go. Not that he had ever told her any of this.

"I can't keep it a secret anymore, Richard," she began again. "I'm… I'm in love with you."

Richard's breath hitched. It was what he had always wanted to hear. It was what he felt towards her as well. His left thumb immediately went to the golden band that resided on his ring finger. This was why she hadn't gone to the wedding. She knew. She knew how she felt all this time, and she hadn't told him. Not that he could judge, he had married Kori without telling Raven. He had harbored his feelings for so long, knowing nothing could happen. He had already been dating Kori when his feelings for Raven had grown to love. By then, he was already too used to being with Kori. Everyone wanted him to be with her, and so he was. However, that did not keep him from desiring the goth that had resided just down the hall for so long.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I know that the timing is awful. You're married, and this isn't fair. I-I shouldn't have called," she rambled. "I should just-"

"Raven, stop," Richard interrupted. The other end of the line was quickly silent. Again, he looked at his wedding band, remembering the promise he made. To love and protect, cherish and treasure, and realized that he had said it to the wrong woman. "I love you too."

Silence carried over the line. Seconds seemed to stretch into eternity between the two, both birds having stepped into unknown and dangerous territory. "I love you, Raven," he said again, unable to bear the silence between them anymore.

"You're married, Richard," she shot back. He thought he heard a catch in her voice as though she were crying.

"I know," he replied. He let out a long sigh. "I know, Rae. But I made a mistake… I should have told you so long ago. I fell into a pattern, and things felt like they were expected of me, so I did those things... She's great, but she's not you."

"I-I'm sorry I called," Raven said. "I shouldn't have done this to you. I shouldn't have put you in this position." With that, the line cut out and she was gone.

Richard sat in stunned silence. He pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at it for a while. He couldn't believe what he had just said. He had admitted to loving a woman that was not his wife. He wasn't sure what the worst part of it was, that he had known before they had said I do or that he now was having questions as to whether or not he still wanted to be married.

Kori made a sound, though Robin wasn't sure if it was minutes or hours he had been staring at the phone in his hand. He was torn apart, completely confused, but his attention was held by the beautiful alien he had chosen. She was beautiful and loved him with her whole heart, but he couldn't help the thoughts of Raven that assaulted his mind.

He pressed his phone to his lips, contemplating the changes his life had just gone through. He wished that this had happened before his marriage ceremony, but he also didn't know what to do now that he knew. His gaze fell again on his wife. His heart melted at her sweet, innocent form that lay on their bed. Her entire personality was the exact opposite of the woman with whom he had just spoken.

Raven breathed deeply. Her heart wouldn't stop hammering against her ribcage. She couldn't believe what she had just done. She had admitted to her friend, her _married_ friend that she was in love with him. That she had been in love with him for years. She couldn't believe herself. Her eyes drifted to the whiskey bottle that stood, taunting her, on the coffee table that was almost half empty. It had been full at the beginning of the evening. And now she knew what a mistake she had made.

She rubbed her eyes roughly with her shaking hands. She thought over the night about herself, Richard, Kori…

Kori.

How could she do this to Kori. She had never been anything but nice to Raven, and yet Raven had just told the husband of that good friend that she was in love with him and had been for as long as she had known him.

Tears began pouring from the empath's eyes, her heart aching with regret. She made her way slowly towards bed, stumbling slightly on her way there, and curled into her sheets. She pulled them up to her chin, hiding away as much as she could. She let the tears that marred her face remain, knowing how she would look in the morning.

Two weeks had passed since the call, and Raven still remained in a haze as she went through the motions of patrols and evenings alone in her small studio apartment. She had managed to avoid seeing Robin around the city, though it took considerable effort if her former teammates were to be believed. Apparently he had been asking about her ever since that night, though Kori didn't say anything to her about what had happened, so maybe he hadn't told her.

Raven entered her apartment after a particularly annoying patrol, in which she had been blindsided and thrown into a building. The fight had given her a chance to work out her anger, mostly aimed at herself, and got her to stretch some muscles she hadn't used in a while, but it had still worn her out. She pulled off her cape as she walked through her apartment and into her closet, rummaging for softer yoga pants and a tank top to sleep in. When she reemerged from the small closet, Robin stood in her room, leaning lazily against the wall. He wasn't Robin anymore, though, he was Nightwing. "Richard," she breathed in surprise.

"Raven," he said in an easy tone, as though they had not already blown up both of their lives. He pushed himself from the wall and walked towards her, keeping a safe distance as though he didn't trust himself to be too close. "I think we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," she replied gruffly, sidestepping him to go into the small kitchen. She needed a drink, specifically calming tea. She had dumped all of the alcohol she had in her apartment in the past two weeks. She filled the kettle and set it on the burner, hoping that in the time she did this, Richard would make his exit. She didn't want to face him or any of this.

"I think we both know that's not true." His voice was closer than she expected. He had taken a seat close by at the small island in her kitchenette. "I think we've needed to talk for a long time, and we've both avoided it for long enough."

The kettle whistled. Raven poured herself a mug of herbal tea. She had thought to offer Richard something, but then decided against it. Common rules of hostess etiquette were not required if the person had just broken into the residence. She turned and leaned against the island, standing across from where the man sat, tea steaming from the mug rested in her pale hands. "If you want to talk, talk. But it's not going to change anything, Richard. Need I remind you, you are married. I love Kori and I'm not getting in the way of your marriage. Even if that means we can't be around each other."

Richard gave a heavy sigh. He ran a hand through his hair, as he did whenever he was nervous. "I don't know if I can stop loving you," he told her, his eyes intensely fixed on hers from behind his domino mask. Raven averted her eyes to her mug.

"You have to, or I have to leave."

"Why?"

"Because!" Her anger flared, black tendrils sprouting from her for just long enough to shatter the overhead light above her, glass raining down on her kitchen floor, her eyes flashing red for a moment before reverting to their usual deep purple. She took a deep breath, her hands shaking around the quickly cooling mug. "Because I can't do that. Not to any of us." She abandoned the mug of tea. Levitating a few inches off the glass littered floor, she moved around the island to come face to face with the man she was deeply in love with. "I'm going to leave Jump City. Don't follow me, don't ask where I've gone. Work things out with Kori." She put a gentle hand on his shoulder, willing herself not to give in to the love she felt for him. "I love you enough to know that I'm not good for you. If you love me at all, let me go."

Richard's heart sank. He opened his mouth to speak, but the look Raven gave him told him there was no room for argument. "Goodbye Raven," he said, with a sinking feeling that it was the last time he would say it.

"Goodbye Richard."

Raven watched as he moved to her window, taking just a moment to look back at her, before he leapt out of the window and out of her life. Raven felt sadness overcome her, sinking into a chair and letting her tears fall.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: So, I wasn't sure about doing a second chapter, but I was given a very nice review by Zaacna and I decided that a part two to this story is probably needed. This will probably only be a two shot unless a spark of inspiration hits, but that doesn't mean I'm taking another five year hiatus. I've got some other pieces in the works, mostly one and two shots, as you may have guessed if you've read any of my other work. That being said, I am so glad to be writing again and I love hearing your feedback. That is all for now, on to the story!_

Raven knew she shouldn't answer her phone. She wasn't sure what compelled her to answer in the middle of the night, maybe it was that she hadn't spoken to her best friend in six months, but she did. Her heart raced as she put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Raven," he breathed. Her breath hitched at his voice. She had been prepared to never see him again, though she knew how unlikely that was. She had managed to avoid him at big team functions, she had even moved to Star City to avoid being where he might be. She had considered Gotham, but knew how often he would visit his old mentor.

"Richard," she muttered. "I thought we agreed…"

"You decided, I didn't agree," he shot back. Raven didn't respond, her voice caught in her throat. This was exactly what she was avoiding. She couldn't handle it and hadn't wanted to. She bit her lower lip, waiting for him to say his peace so she could end this. "I haven't gotten over you. I don't know if I ever will, Rae."

"You're married, Richard," she snapped, her usual monotone voice marred with harsh, clipped words. "And I'm not going to do this."

"But…"

"No but. Go back to Kori. I'm going to live my life, I suggest you do the same."

She pulled the phone away from her ear, hesitated just a second, long enough to hear Richard call for her to wait before she disconnected the call. She breathed out a harsh sigh, burying her face in her hands and letting a few tears come to the surface. She sat at the table in her small apartment, a mug of tea sat before her. She pushed it away from her, and rested her head down on the table.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, jolting her from her wallowing. She lifted her head, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was met with warm, concerned blue eyes. She gave a weak smile at him. "Roy," she breathed out. She couldn't hold in the small sobs that bubbled from her chest. She leaned into him, her forehead resting on his stomach. He rested hands on her shoulders, rubbing his thumbs in comforting circles on her collar bones.

"Rae, are you ok?" he asked the top of her head. She didn't answer beyond a slightly louder sob and wrapping her arms around his middle. He let her work it out, just being there for comfort. When her sobs did subside, he ran a hand softly over her hair. "It was Dick, wasn't it?" he asked.

Raven leaned away from her, extracting herself from his arms and standing herself. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy, but she hadn't lost control yet. It had taken a lot of work to keep complete control, but she had managed to continue to work on it until she had been able to begin allowing her emotions out. This, however, was truly a test of her control.

She nodded at Roy, her eyes downcast and ashamed at her outburst. Roy sighed in response, a gentle hand cupping her face. "Are you ok?" he asked.

This was a response she wasn't expecting. She had expected anger, jealousy, anything, but complete and unquestioning understanding was not it. "I-I think so. I told him that this couldn't be a discussion anymore."

Roy nodded. He struggled over his next words, hemming and hawing on how to approach this topic. "Is that truly what you want?"

Raven's eyes flared for a moment. He wasn't sure what emotion had flared enough to break her control, but the white flash of her eyes and the crashing of her mug against the wall, sending ceramic and tea on the nearby wall and floor. "What are you asking me?" Roy remained silent, his eyes now darting away in shame. "Are you asking me if I've been dating you while holding out hope that Richard would leave Kori and come to me? Because if that's what you think, I have some news for you…"

Roy's hands went up in surrender. "I'm sorry, Rae. I'm sorry," he said, reaching out for her. "That is absolutely not what I meant." He took her upper arms lightly, moving his face to make eye contact with the slightly shorter hero. "I am not doing this right at all. I…" He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts before he began again. "I understand that you and Richard have a deep connection, with the Trigon thing and all. I know that kind of connection runs deep. And it's not easy to fall out of love, even when you think you should." Cheshire flashed into his mind for a just a moment. "I don't think you're using me to get over Boy Wonder. I just understand how difficult of a position this is."

Raven took a moment, searching Roy's eyes for any look of jealousy or anger, but still found none. Instead, she found a deep understanding. "You were in love, weren't you?"

"I was…" he said. "Cheshire. She and I… she didn't know who I was, but I knew her. And it was… let's just say it didn't end well for anyone."

Raven nodded, not wanting to push him any further. "I am not going to run to Richard," she said in response, her voice softening with each word spoken to Roy. "I choose you. I choose us."

The archer gave a large smile, the dark mood of the evening moving towards a lighter, happier note. "I'm glad," he said, pulling her into him for a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his chest, kissing him back. He took her hand when they broke apart. "Coming to bed?" he asked with a light squeeze of her slender hand.

"Let me clean up this mess first," she replied, nodding towards the mess her tea had made.

"Leave it for morning?"

Raven hesitated for less than a few seconds before relenting and following him to their bed. She snuggled into his side, his arm resting on her back. Her head was nestled onto his shoulder. She waited until his breathing had slowed almost to the point of sleep before she spoke again. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Roy," she whispered. She was glad he didn't hear her words yet, but she was glad she could admit it.

Raven and Roy walked together down the streets of Star City. Each was in mundane clothes, Raven choosing a white tank top and black cropped jeans for the moderately warm day with Roy choosing his signature red, but in a t-shirt instead of a full costume, and jeans. They held hands as they walked, talking between themselves through multiple topics.

Raven spotted him before Roy did, stopping quickly. The person walking behind her slammed into her back, though Raven hardly noticed. Profanities spilled from the other pedestrian, with Roy glaring them down as they walked around. "Richard," Raven breathed out. Her eyes had met his immediately, the ice blue orbs all too familiar to her.

"Raven, I wanted to see you, I…" His words fell as he saw who she was walking with. His eyes moved to their joint hands and Raven could feel the anger seeping from his very pores. He seethed with just barely controlled rage. "Him?" he forced out the word as though it were poison on his lips.

Roy glared at his former leader, though his emotions were well contained. Raven could feel his own anger bubbling under the surface, but it wasn't the most prevalent emotion she felt from him. It was love.

"Yes," she said, her eyes glued to the side of Roy's face in confusion. She had expected something very different than this, but it was something that made her appreciate the archer even more. "Yes, him. Absolutely him," she said with a light smile touching her lips before turning to Richard.

He looked dumbstruck for a few seconds. "But you said…"

"I know what I said. And I never should have," she replied. Richard had moved closer, though he kept a safe distance away on the sidewalk. People bustled around them, not understanding the electricity that was crackling between the two men. "I have made my choice, Richard, and I'm asking you to respect it. I want you to go back to Kori. You love Kori. Please," she pleaded.

"You didn't tell me about him."

"I shouldn't have to!" Her voice rose for a moment, drawing some attention from passersby before she took a calming breath. "I shouldn't have to tell you I'm seeing someone to get you to understand that I do not want to be with you, Richard. You are my best friend, and I miss that," she told him, barely holding in tears. She took another calming breath, her control being pushed a little further than she was comfortable with. "But I don't want to be with you. I miss what we had, and I'm sorry I have ruined it, but I'm not letting you ruin this for me."

Richard looked dumbfounded at her response. He blinked blankly. "Go home, Richard," she told him with a sad smile, "go to Kori and remind her that you _love_ her."

Richard's heart pulled slightly in his chest. He knew she was right. He could feel it. He didn't want to admit it, and knew he wouldn't, but he also knew that she would see any true changes in his emotions. Maybe she already knew. It was something about their connection that allowed her more access to her emotions that he wished she had, especially right now. He could see the small smile on her lips, it was pitying and slightly sad, but he knew what it meant. She knew.

"Maybe we can all go out to dinner sometime," Roy said, trying to ease more of the tension as it started to wane.

Richard gave a wry laugh. "Maybe," he replied, his face plastered with his usual stoic expression.

Raven pulled Roy's hand, moving to walk by their former leader. Raven put a light hand on Richard's shoulder. "I'll see you around, Richard," she said. It had taken six months and a confrontation she hadn't wanted to happen, but maybe they could be friends the way they were before. It wasn't goodbye this time. It was the beginning.


End file.
